Prompt: Bleeding-dream

You said it today,
With your sweet voice and tight hug.
Beaming with joy and your pride.
With a gleeful expression
I stood there in wonder.
Feeling blessed and content.

Is it real or another of those dreams?
My stupid mind doubted.
This had happened many times,
in those silent nights
in those beautiful dreams.

I touched my chest,
I looked for the string,
the thin golden thread
which always connected us
in our dream.

I was afraid and sad now,
the string vanishes into dust
whenever you move away.
Would you turn around and move on now?
Anxious I was.

Your eyes pierced into mine
You nodded, assured me.
It is happening dear.
It is not our dream,
This is for real, she whispered.

Written for a lovely prompt : When my dreams bleed into reality. 

Arigato 🙂

[ My attempts at poetry are like a little boy’s attempt of weaving together words with affections and dreams. :P]

Advertisements

Pocket Diary -15

I was writing something, so mind is still active. I will write this fast post from my pocket diary.Today it’s on India & writing.

Tagore, ” The problem is not how to wipe out the difference but how to unite with the differences intact.”

I rarely find people, with exception of Bongalis’,who defend or like the Tagore’s thoughts on development. I connect more to Tagore & Gandhi on their ideologies on development of lowest strata of India. I don’t accept everything on their face rather judge them with skepticism.  And as Tagore said – the problem is to unite with difference intact. Do you know, Tagore & Gandhi’s ideas were different from each-other & they used to differ on most of the issues. However, this quote is related to the ‘unity in diversity’ characteristic of Indian Union. Also, this is what in contemporary management they are calling as win-win dealings (I can see similar patterns).

Gandhi,” A society that has no vision for the education of children & youth & is not prepared for the same, is doomed to die.”

The organic growth & development of society is one of the most peculiar part of Gandhian ideology. And I am interested in the organic growth of similar nature alongside with the new technology & innovations, we are discovering day-after-day. Acc. to me, Education is the core of the whole system. If you can develop a culture, an ecosystem of learning which keeps on changing & evolving with time & includes everyone – changing the society will be little easier. I know it’s easy to say that but hard to do. But you know what, I have got a life ahead of me,with my cognitive faculties working fine I will try to create such education core.(even if in a small village or town)

R. B. Austin,” I write because I have no other choice.”

Somebody(sorry I forgot your name & too lazy to check 😦 ) replied with this quote when I asked for ‘Why do you write?’ in one of my earlier posts. It was for the #amwriting series.
With so many people not involved in writing anything – they have many other choices.Even I have, but I choose to write. 🙂

Steven Pressfield, ” As writers, we’re always searching for Real.
Real, we believe, is powerful. Real is authentic. Real is true.
In fact, Real is boring. Real is tedious. Real is hell.
What we want is the simulacrum of Real.
The illusion of Real. We want artificially real.”

Steven Pressfield is like Seth Godin for me, in field of writing. His suggestion speaks to me. My interests are of contradictory nature. On one side, I want to read more and more of ‘reality’ and on the other side, I want to imagine the ‘unreal-creative-islands’. The quote itself creates opposing forces in my mind regarding writing anything. How about you?

Arigato 🙂

Expecting Something??

You know that stage, when in your student life, after the exams are over – You Expect something positive in your result or you get a Surprise waiting for you.

Yesterday was all about that – Unexpected Surprises on April Fools Day.However, I was brooding over expectations or rather types of expectations.Well, giving exams which will be deciding ones career, rather life, hooks one on to the expectations from results. This kept revolving inside my head – what type of expectation generally I have before the awaited results are declared. I came up with these ones, which I at-least had once in the anxious period between the exam & the result.

So,here goes.(sort of a long post)

1. Wishful Expectations

“Once there lived a Brahmin & one day he got a pot of flour in donation. He started dreaming…” You remember this story? He ends up breaking the pot while in his dreams he marries the princess. This is the most basic expectations people have – “a puffed up hollow cake”. It looks so delicious from outside & once you try to eat it – you won’t even get the sweetness on your tongue.
You gave an exam & then planned all the things you will do after you pass it. You bought a lottery ticket & you have got all planned out how to spend the jackpot.

Your good friends will be the ones who will make you head this way. And you will dive there( You know that). The problem is that it masquerades itself as a well-wish. And so that it is – only a wish. It’s without any actions;It’s planning before the results. Don’t indulge into Wishful expectations obsessively.

2. Positive Expectations

“You are part of the Universe and when you release positive vibes you get all positive gifts…”. It’s the attitude towards expectations which most people have or try to have. It has been made further popular by books like ‘The Secret’ and of-course by our religious askance. You expect all good things will happen to you & then the whole cosmos will plan to make it a reality.
I will pass with 1st grade & you do. I will get the promotion & you do.

“Know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not.” ― Valery Satterwhite

Almost everybody you will meet have such expectations for you. And many of you do so. This looks all good & I think it is, when you do get the expectations fulfilled. Though it may lead you to the path of superstitions. My problem with this type is the ‘overly positive feel of it’ and ‘disconnection from reality’. This type of expectations back-fires when the results are not satisfactory.It is like, ” The Higher the Expectations the lower the Satisfactions”.
You never feel satisfied with this attitude. You hold so high expectations that even universe lapses in its attempt. You start living in your own ‘All Happy Universe’ & you will get disappointed when it breaks. So if you can handle the fall then expect positively.

3. Negative Expectations

This is a recent type of strategy few people are using to cope up with there expectations. They are negatively influenced or not-influenced by their results. So they go the other way (to the Dark side). You expect all the wrong, even worst, outcomes.
I will fail this test. I will be alone forever.

“I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.” ― Bill Watterson

Actually this type of expectation works before taking an action.It motivates you to stop the bad outcome.So you work more hard.But after the action has been taken – it may lead you into a spiral of demotivating thoughts. You will be left all sapped out & fatigued. The only logic I get in this strategy is that that even if you get some results you are satisfied.It’s like the learned helplessness situation where any outcome takes you into positive from below the zero. This takes you to the only negative side of the life’s’ reality.
Many destitute & poor people live by this expectations whether they know it or not.

4. Strategic/Aware Expectations

This is what you learn by observing your self. It works according to your personality & the context of the result. This type of expectations works like a thermostat.
If you know you lapsed in your studies so wont make 1st grade, you expect 2nd or 3rd grade. You know you did too well in your work so you expect both a raise & an award.

“If you’re going to say what you want to say, you’re going to hear what you don’t want to hear.” ― Roberto BolañoThe Insufferable Gaucho

I would suggest learning this expectation. Because you can or you do it already. It only needs some self-awareness of your capabilities & your traits. You can choose your level of satisfaction. I think everyone learns this unconsciously in their life. This is close to reality – actually close to ‘your reality’.

5. No Expectations

This is also the sort of impossible to follow by normal beings.
This is what BhagwatGita proposes

“Indulge in selfless action and offer all their fruits to me, O’ Arjuna. – This means that we must always indulge in action without attachment to their results and must work without selfish motives. If we worry about the outcome and results, it means there is some negative thought lurking in our minds and to overcome the insecurity of the outcome, we start manipulating with work and naturally adulteration sets in.”

I gave the exam & will wait for the result. I completed the work given to me.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ― Alexander Pope

This is the toughest one to imbibe into your life. It may happen unconsciously for some actions. It gives you the real surprise – you were not even expecting anything from an action & it all worked out perfectly. If you have inculcated this into yourself – I consider you above humans.

 

There can be more types of expectations.Though, I came up with above ones. About what I use in my life?
I go with the strategic expectations. After all,

“I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than fatally disappointed.”― Julia GlassI See You Everywhere

I do sometimes indulge in the Negative Expectations but that is to stop me from going into Wishful path.Or make me work harder for my actions.

So how many different expectations you use in your life??

Arigato. 🙂

Thoughts that were..

About the ride of thought i went into after that dream. It seems it is hard to recollect it and write here. Even i am not able to understand it properly. The reason might be that i think mostly in pictures. It’s hard to convey it to you. But let’s try.

I was reading this transcript (not exact- simplified it a bit): “The world is real. Everything is present in reality. If not then why do we get hurt when hit by a stone. The stone is real, the pain is real. Then why do we hear that its a dream. The world is a dream. We are dreaming unaware of the reality”. “Sab moh maya hai”

My take on this after whatever i understood from the text is that the world do exist. But it is not the true form. We perceive this world in our mind. This pseudo perception of the reality is the dream we are living in. It is not the actual reality but is seen with lens of coloured glass of mind. Each one has his own perception, each one observes the truth with his own coloured glasses. Each one makes it real by himself, one’s ego makes it real. To try to understand it in some way & make out some meaning in it. The ego creates this dream of reality.

I am not going to go further with this now. After this point, bundles of questions start coming to my mind. It cannot be recollected now & answered hereby. It will take time for me to understand all this. My mind kept thinking about it for 2hours after this, still it’s not clear :P.