31/13

It is 6pm in the evening and let me tell you that I am trying since morning to write a post. Therefore, I stopped trying and just wrote it.

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE. ๐Ÿ˜€

So should I make it a ‘rant‘ post or ‘looking back in the mirror‘ post or may be ‘resolutions & progress made‘ post.

As I am an engineer and the habit of rushing things on the last day has not yet left me. I thought about writing all the three posts. But, I think I will do good with this single one only. I will make it a long post.

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RANT

I was not writing anything for quite some time because I was travelling to meet my friends and did not have any access to my laptop. Second, I wanted to read, actually, rush some of easy reads before the year end.
Third, i got addicted to gaming again. I tried hard to leave it or control the hours I spend on it, but the geniuses who created those games have got me stuck with them.
And Finally, the greatest & most primal reason – the resistance of procrastination.
I kept scribbling & doodling in my notepad all this time. Some of which I really want to put on this blog and some of which are personal(private access only).
That will be enough of rant and now I can move ahead.

T-Fish

T-Fish

DARSHAN‘ / Looking back in 2013

One of the symbolic meaning of mirror is about ‘darshan‘ i.e. reflecting back. So, as the year is ending i would like to reflect back into 2013 and leave everything where they belong – in the past.

This year was awesome and amazing. To be honest it was wonderful on a personal & inner level. It was awesome on social & friend level. It was never like this.(Well each year is unique in itself)

I found myself opening up to more people. I made new and great friends on both virtual & physical world. I also found a unique and special friend. I still am single though, no luck on the love lane. ๐Ÿ˜› If you have ever met me earlier and would have met me this year – you would have seen the difference. (If I don’t like you or you are one of my buddies – you would not find me any different )

I had lots of time for soul searching this year.(staying around 8 months in a single room away from disturbance – me and I alone – it is bound to happen).
It was revealing and beautiful. Sometimes painful and dreadful too. The main point is I kept on growing out of them. Growth of the inner and outer self.
Though, being a self-critic and a realist , I still tend to water down all the progress I made. I find my demons still lurking around. I tend to have conversation with them now instead of fearing them.

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PROGRESSย 

I searched for my last year resolution or to-do list but couldn’t find it. Let me recall from my memory then.

BloggingCheck (= kept on blogging.

Drawing & GraphicsCheck (= doodled a lot and made some nice graphics also. [ NOTE – More & Better are the words for 2014]

Diary/LogCheck (= It is one of the best thing I started doing this year.

SpanishFail )= forgot what little I learned. Sliding it to next year.

ReadingCheck (= Challenged myself to read 50 books and ended up reading 72.

ExaminationCheck (= cleared UPSC prelims & gave mains. Waiting for the results now. It will decide my future course of action.

Writing a bookCheck (= Hell Yeah!! I wrote it. Working on correcting & editing it, then next step will be to get it published.

CodingFail )= Completely forgotten all the programming languages. Tried practicing it around mid year but left it in mid way.

WebsiteFail )= The coding part is connected to this one.

Exercise/ lose weight – Neutral. I will not say failed. The progress was like a sine-wave – filled with ups & downs. I remained at the same point.

I am like this only. Trying to spread myself thin by going into so many directions. But I have found the trick now – I don’t take everything all at once. I choose 2-3 points only and work on them incessantly till i exhausted. This method needs a lot of improvement, it is liable to minor disturbances also – specially to ‘mood swings’ & ‘friends & family’.

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TO-DOs 2014

While writing the above part, I have decided I will sleep on it a bit more. I will post it in new year only. ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

It is evening people – time to party & enjoy. Make merry the end of 2013. Stop reading this and I am finished writing this – move outside or move near your loved ones.

Welcome the new year.

Happy Endings to 2013.

Arigato ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

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Mad Times Ahead

Two months left for the UPSC mains examination.

Where do I stand? I am not sure about that.

Only thing I know is that these two months will be filled with madness. An insanity where I will be munching on books,materials,notes,magazines and newspaper. I will have to read & understand mountain load of information about myriad & trivial stuffs. Adding to the misery will be memorizing the facts. And even after doing all this – the surety of figuring out the probable questions reaches barely to 10%. To give you some idea :

Around 12-13 books of 300 page on avg.
15 something – 200 page coaching materials
last 8 months Yojana & Kurukshetra magazines
News paper notes,IYB…
….(cont)

That is not all which will make you helpless.

There are the mood swings, emotional roller-coaster ride, low social interaction, isolationist tendency, relationship issues e.t.c. Even in dreams you will be looking at the information,historical events, economic data flowing around. You totally disconnect with the world.
It is not because you deliberately do so – instead it is because you have so much to cover that you start backing off from other areas.
It is not that the issues which start arising in your life, its that they will compound your difficulty.

You must have heard people, who clear the exam, say, that they used to study for 16hr or 18hr or even 20hr. Well, this is the time when they did so.

This year will be epic. With changed UPSC course & pattern – everyone is on same level. It is battle between equals now.
After this grueling 2 months period – one will have to maneuver through the unexpected questions of the exam. Some will vomit out the recorded information, some will improvise with their creativity and some will just leave them to luck.
With back to back 5 day continuous examination – I wonder how the mental conditions of the aspirants will be like.

I am betting on ‘Insane’ – they will need to lose their steam off. The evening of 5th of December 2013 will be not less than heaven for many. And there will be some who will start craving for there next goal. Some will need medical attention.

So what have I got in my mind?

Well, I loved the last three months of blogging – I wrote so many posts & connected to so many new bloggers. It was really awesome. Plus the last three months helped me peek inside my writing ability. The Dungeon Promptsย is one of the best prompts I found.

But now the time has come to shift the fireplace to other room. I have to go embrace the madness of the coming months.

I will write some posts when I would really need to get something out of my head. It will be rare event in the next month. It will be like diminishing return with each passing week.
And from November I will be on a one month leave. No Blogging. ๐Ÿ˜›

I will be back after the exams. ๐Ÿ˜€ And there will be no stopping after that.(I hope)

Arigato ๐Ÿ™‚

Thanks for your wishes.
And Best of Luck to all the aspirants. We all need it. ๐Ÿ˜€

Completing them

I know many bloggers start some challenge like ’30-day marathon’ , ‘100-words challenge’ e.t.c. Also there are many contests & challenges provided by sites like indiblogger.in or blogadda.com & likes. They do help to create a habit of blogging & keeps one writing.

Lately, many product companies have started incentive contests for bloggers. ย I understand that they are more of marketing gimmicks. Personally, i am not interested in them. But some of them are great & do light up ones creative fire. For example blogaddas’s ‘Write over Weekend’ challenge.

This post is about my failures to participate in them successfully. My schedule doesn’t allows me to participate in the daily- blog post challenges but I like the occasional ones. I decided to take up the following contests, check them if you like :

Indian Bloggers Award – Its too far fetched for me. But it costs nothing to take part.

Idea Caravan – Watch a video & write about it.
I love the TEDx events, and I got a whole collection of ones I like. I always mull over the ideas presented. This one I thought will be same, I just have to write a post on it.

Pick a book – Pick a book & write its review. (this one still not clear to me)

BlogAdda Awards – No harm in participating. ๐Ÿ˜›

All that matters is – Win entry to INKTalks 2013.
As I like TED events, and I wish to attend one in future. This one is interesting.

Be Bold Stay Real – receive a signed copy of ‘Shantaram’.
A challenging contest to practice the creative muscles along with sense of reality.

Tales Pensieve – check out these Tales Pensieve contests
I am interested in the Virgin Flash Fiction contest.

And then there is always the weekend challenges of blogadda.

So what about it??

Actually, I never finish any of them. I start forming an idea & brood over it. But after some gap, its gone.*poof* *poof*
I end up not writing any of it. I procrastinate or simple forget them. And few are over the head for me -I can’t make myself write anything. They are really hard.
I am trying to improve my story-telling skill. So, I write one draft copy or few incomplete paragraphs and then they never see the light. I criticize them & then delete them.
You remember the ‘#amWriting’ poster series – ย left it unfinished. How can I complete,let alone compete in, the above challenges – if I can’t even complete my personal projects. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

I checked my SHSF- Stay Hungry Stay Foolish series. It’s in archives now. Last post was in March(4 months gap). I find piece of papers with something noted on it whenever I check my bags or pick some old books. And I again leave them there. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Lately, I have been feeling a little down. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I am again in the ‘hazy’ & ‘confused’ phase, and not able to focus on my studies also.(There is no relationship issues, okay ๐Ÿ˜› ). I thought, writing something successfully may lift up the mood. And I am hardly coping up – trying to swim in the sea. Also, it has been pointed to me how I am spreading myself thin. Trying to put my fingers in every pie I like. The way I see it is that, my priority structure has broken into a complex mesh. It will take ample amount of effort & time to sort it back into some hierarchy.

I need some help. I know some of my readers do take those contest & succeed on them. Please help me with your advice. Some of it may help me take-off.

Arigato ๐Ÿ™‚

P.S – Putting all this out eases my mind a little. Thanks.

On Hiatus

It’s really hard to keep up with the plan. I decided to blog with a max. gap of three days. But with prelims in next month, I will be taking a Blogging break.

To tell you the truth its sort of a relief to not blog. I am writing this post to mitigate the guilt, which comes when I stop blogging. However, I have made two-three posts which has been kept on auto-post.

Sleeping Pill

(…because the glorious Fuhrer has taken a sleeping pill.. : from the movie – The Longest Day)

So the next post will be after 26th May. May will be a Dry month. ๐Ÿ™‚

Arigato ๐Ÿ™‚

Keep Blogging.

Break Point

From this month onwards, there will be long breakpoints in blogging. :/ *sigh*

I have shifted to Delhi for this year UPSC exam preparation.So, I won’t have any access to consistent net connection or laptop.As it happened last year, I will try to post on this blog if I can.I have still so many things to write about, however, they are lurking inside my mind or are waiting on the Draft list.

Nothing is coming to my head that I can put down on this post.It is preoccupied with the shifts I have to make in my daily routine.I am looking for a place to shift soon & start my studiesย ASAP. Hopefully, I will be there by next week.

I need peace to write something.My brain is concerned with nitty-gritty stuff for now.

I will write later.*empty mind* (Or all the thoughts are clashing in between annihilating them in process – crowded out by one another just like Crabs in a bucket)

This post was to inform that I will be on the Weekend Blogger Schedule for a while.(Just like last year).

Aarigato