Anger

I was squatting upon the branch of a tree, looking for a flock to land on the lake near by. One fleet of stocks landed on the waters to have their feed. Like them I was also waiting for my hunt for the day. I took aim at one of the big ones. Suddenly they all took off into the blue sky. I looked below the tree. A procession of monks were crossing the lakeside, chanting loudly, ” Buddham Sharanam Gachami… Buddham Sharanam Gachami…

I shouted at them, ” What have you done, you silly monks. I have lost my prey because of your chanting. Now, how will I feed my stomach today ?”

One of them came forward and replied, ” Sorry for disturbing my brother. But why so much rage against the poor birds ? What use is of this violence ? Let them live. Let yourself live without such grave burden”

“Hahaha….silly monk. How would I live if I let them live ?  Life feeds on life. And I would like to live. ” I retorted at his silly argument.

“As Buddha says, Life is such. But I request you to leave this violent way. Nature will take care of everyone. You can share our alms for today.”

He offered me a share of his alms – rice and some fruits. I got down from the tree-top and partook the food. I was very hungry and started chomping the fruits then and there.

Looking at me with a serene smile on his face, the monk said ,” Throw away your anger like the remains of that fruit. Your life will be much pleasant journey then.”

Saying that the group started back their chanting and moved on from the lakeside.

I threw away the remains of the fruit, completely clueless about what he meant. One flock of cranes landed in the lake. My stomach was satisfied for now, but not of my wife and child. I pulled the bow’s string, took an aim, made a kill shot. Their bellies will be full today.

***

Yama called me forth and looked at my soul with his cold and dead eyes. He was dictating Chitragupta something, glancing at me in short pauses. I looked behind the big black gate bordered with gold & silver plating. Its splendour was overtaken by its grimness. I looked behind the door – some Yamdoots were filling a pool with black greasy oily liquid. I remembered the childhood stories of ones body fried in oil afterlife – but there was no fire or any utensil.

My curiosity took hold of my soul and I asked Yama directly, ” What are they filling that pool with ? and what is that liquid for ?”

Yama tilted his head back and came back to me, ” It is fat-oil of the animals , they are going to bath you with it.”

Still confused,I sheepishly asked again, ” But why are you bathing me with animal oil ? Is that all one has to go through after death ?”

A glorious laughter resounded the hellish abode, Yama explained, ” That animal oil is from all those creatures you killed in your lifetime. And those arrows are all those arrows that you used to pierce those poor beings. With all your anger you have filled your life with – we will fire the hearth below the pool. Then you will be pierced with those arrows and then put inside the boiling grease. According to Chitraguptas’ calculation it requires that you be fried till three-forth of an eon.”

I was dumbstruck, baffled and shivering at the grim picture Yama just painted for me. I was paralysed from my bony toes to my strands of grey hair.
I recalled that incident near the lake side – the procession of the monks. Now I understood what he meant by throwing away my anger. Why in the heaven did I not take their advice ? Why? ….

….”WHY????” (I screamed inside)

– Arigato

This post is part of the Dungeon Prompt Season 2 : Anger Management. Other contributors list will be posted below after the end of the prompt week.

Update: List of other contributors

Kind of Defeated – MarthaOstout

Valentine’s Day – SplitSpeak

An Animal Caged – TJ Therien

Anger Management: Road Rage – Schizo Incognito

Anger – Contemplating Me

A Conversation About Anger – Stop the Stigma

 A rit of fealous jage – Alienorajt

Anger – Never a Worry

Anger management – It’s a Lonely Place

Anger’s Alibi – Dream Cloud Diaries

Anger, Kyrielle Sonnet – Bastet and Sekhmet’s Library

Thoughts on Anger – Shadows of the Divine

Managing – A Thing of Grace

Memories of My First Rage – Traces of the Soul

Solution, Meditate – Hell on My Heels

To be Feared or Loved – The Seeker’s Dungeon

Anger Management – Writing Works in Progress

An Innocent Monster – Follow Your Shadow

P.S – I wanted to just write a story on it. Lately, I have been working on things and failing at them at the last stage of work. It gets really frustrating and I get angry a lot. It is hard to control anger or should I say throw it away.

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Thanks to..

Thank you so much Marlyn for making me part of your ‘Spotlight’.

I am grateful for that. I hope I can keep up with the standards & keep on doing my work.

Check out Spotlight – @ kintal.wordpress.com/

Marlyn writes beautiful poems. She makes abstract & lovely images and writes poem on them. The lines do the talking while the image captures your mind. Some images completely takes you to some distant dreamy place.

Below is one of her works.

Do check the other favourites of Marlyn. 🙂 They are inspiring & creative people. Her Spotlight initiative is a great step to discover new inspiring individuals.

Thanks Again Marlyn for featuring me. And I will get back to the drawing & graphics part.

P.S – I was busy travelling around for the last few days. Plus my laptops’ charger also broke down. I have so much data & posts to go through now. I am completely swamped. I can not even make out where should i start from. Everything is on stall. This post will be a start. Good to start with a Thank you note. 🙂

Drishti

Hey,

So I am posting my short story today. I wrote it last year and wanted to post it soon but procrastination is a bitch.

Check it out and please please please be honest with me.

I would love to have your feedback on it.

Help me improve the presentation skill with your tips if you may.(Should have I made a first cover page for it ?)

And also let me know – would you like the story to continue into a full length thriller novel?? I am not having any plot yet. It would be really interesting to expand the whole story. 😀

Arigato 🙂

Click the link below to read the pdf file :-

Drishti-1

Or link for the google drive file :

Drishti-1

P.S – If I have ever emailed you, you know who politesaint aka PS is 😉

On Motivation

“A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.”
― Ayn Rand

For the last three days, I was searching for motivation. Something which can push me to write something and then push me further to finish it. Yeah, both are separate from each other. The push to start is not the same as the push to end. It seldom is same.

Have you seen an empty canvas? or an empty page? or a void in your life ?

They all let you imagine anything you want. They lay there looking at you. Waiting for you to put something on them – fill them up with something you want. They want you to act.

They become a beast, a demon for me. Constantly taunting me, looking into my eyes, with sinister smiles. And most people will stop there & run away or let it be or simply destroy the stage. The fear binds you and snatches that precious moment of action from you. So how do I act?

I like to keep my demons along. I like to mingle with them. I like to live around them.

When I am faced by one such demon. I simply say ‘Hello’ to it. If I look at a blank canvas – I would throw a color on it, or make any random stroke on it. If I look at a sheet of paper – I will doodle on it, scribble on it. I will place any silly idea into the void. The main point is – in case of fear – I take silly action, even if it turns out to be a mistake.

And that little silly action – motivates me to move ahead. The huge possibility of better & foolish things fills up my mind-space. That imagined world charged with the creative energy propels me to keep on moving. That is all the motivation one needs to keep on dreaming and keep on taking action.

Whatever one fills in those dreams – will affect the path one chooses, the mobility to get to the dream, the perseverance to face the problems, the tenacity to keep on a single path.
What you imagine will either motivate you or demotivate you. And sometimes will lead you to change paths or stop in your journey.

“Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.”
― Zig Ziglar

And I am in love with it. No, Not with the fear. Fear is dreadful.

I am in love with the ability to change my imagination at will. I can keep evolving my dreams – I can keep changing them. It is amazing. However, the more dependent you are on the external sources for this imagination – the more dependent you are on others for motivation. They will decide it for you my friend.

From the recent meetings with friends, i came to know that generally people have this perception that I am aloof, proud, crazy, lonely, e.t.c. Sorry, if you feel like that. Well, some part of it is true also, and some of it is the ‘detachment’. I want to take control of my world. I am trying to work on it – it gets crazy sometimes. And that leads me to the last part – the part which motivates you to end it all.

The vision of the golden egg at the end of the line. The view of the goal post.
The excitement of getting to the last page. The satisfaction of the last stroke of brush.
The pat on the back or the hug from the loved ones. The achievement of standing on the podium or receiving an award.
The pride of increasing bank balance. The lust of an object.
The love of a person. The attainment of moksha.

To be honest,this part of motivation still eludes me.

At that stage, there is no demon left to taunt me. They are all standing beside me. The quest to growth keeps my imagination rolling and I keep on moving.
Sometimes I imagine that all these demons see their own finish line ;and at the sight of it, we all fall into a chaos of individual race to the finish. And sometimes I imagine that the vision of the golden egg does not mesmerize me. Howsoever it may be, I hope that in my journey when I decide to stop and look back at the path I traveled – I find the finish lines crossed.

“Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure. You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively; unless you can choose a challenge instead of competence.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt,

This post is part of the Dungeon Prompts Season 2 : Motivation.

UPDATE: Other contributors for the Motivation Prompt :

Role Model – The Story of an Ordinary Girl

Positive Push – Dream Cloud Diaries

Walking With Reason – MarthaOstout

Motivation – Writing Works in Progress

Motivation – Human in Recovery

What Motivates Me? (Haiku) – Traces of the Soul

Motivation – Cher Shares

Dreams – Writing Works in Progress

The Struggle Between Mind and Matter – The Seeker’s Dungeon

The Meaning of Motivation Changed – Shadows of the Divine

When You Call Me – SplitSpeak

One Square Root of One Percent – My Spirit Journey

 
Arigato. 🙂

200 on 2nd

This is my 200th blog post. 😀

(Update : WordPress just pointed to me – It has been 3 years since I started blogging. Happy Anniversary to this blog 🙂 )

Happy New Year to all of you. Have an Amazing 2014.

I am having a feeling that 2014 is going to be Awesome. Good to start a new year with positive vibes. 🙂

Of late it has become hard for me to write anything.Read Procrastination.
Even before writing this, I wasted my 1 hour doing useless stuff.

I decided this year I will put up my to-do’s – which I will make sure I complete 100%. No excuses this year. This year will be all about action(just like last year). So here it goes :

Books : Challenged myself to read twice the books I read in 2013 i.e. 140 🙂

Blog : Improve my wiriting(grammar) skills, story-telling skills, put short stories in pdf format, build the theme & implement it on a new domain name.

Code : Including the above part of coding , learn processing language & brush up my general coding skills.

Writing a Book : If not published by any firm, I am going to self-publish one book this year. Earlier decided for two, but its better to take one practical step than dream 100 steps.

Travel : I have shed the guilt of throwing away parents money, this year I am going to travel more though in smartly(keeping costs low). Plus going to get some cash flow from freelancing design work.

Design : Create more designs. This year, till I get any solid job, I am going to do freelancing & improve my skills to professional level. Need to create my portfolio in someway. Plus I will complete the last year design challenge of #amwriting series. (completely forgot about that)

Spanish : I have to relearn it. The basics I learned last year is also dimming out from my mind.

And Finally,

Me : Personal growth will keep on going. Writing in a journal has helped a lot, so I will be continuing with it. Healthy habits will be incorporated in daily routine. I have to get in shape & take better care of myself. Because of the people & friends I met last year, I have decided to be more social & open now. I found really great friends last year – hope to make more this year. 😀

Writing this blog has really helped me to keep up to my goals. Reading other blogs inspired me a lot to keep on doing what I want to do & stay on the path. Cheers to Blogging & the wonderful bloggers. 🙂

Arigato. 🙂