Dark (V)Alley

Thanks for your comments/suggestions/read on my Midnight Rant. I would like to apologize if I wasted your time.
This post is related to that. Do you remember the Periods I talked about. My experiment to analyze my mood cycle.

Well, after the last rant, I came to at least one conclusion. These down moods or restless periods are my incubation time.
like Graham Wallas stages of creativity: –
preparation -> incubation -> intimation -> illumination -> verification.

Well leave the other stages, because it’s not something I willingly take part in. It’s because of so much information & knowledge I am sucking from this world, that the preparation stage gets ready itself.
The form it takes is a complex – chaotic looking – colorful abstract artwork. In one look you will not understand anything, until you pick minute fragments of it.
And then the depressive, frustrating, loathing period starts. That is the incubation start working automatically. It becomes a dope for me, getting all these marvelous ideas and connecting them to each other. I enjoy it. Though it puts me into a miserable condition, as I am unable to stop or take rest.

Then comes all my past & new learned rituals to find the peace. I am not lost. It is like I am navigating in the misty ocean. Unable to see clearly, unable to put any anchor. Add to it the emotional melodrama my heart throws at me.(If any relationship or social issues have become prominent for me)

Then suddenly , the sun shines. The mist clears. I come at peace. I relax.

But it’s not over yet, the illumination stage kicks in.
I find the Trades which will take me out of the Doldrums into the open ocean. Riding the highs & lows of the bulges. With such an extreme pace – that It will be exhilarating & exalting. I love this stage. I will be walking all over the place. Validating the idea. Making it a possible reality of future. But it’s all in the mind.
I will note it down & that is the closest I reach to the Verification stage

If I am in control I will refer the logbook & act on a particular idea.  Which is Great.

This time also, as soon I found my peace. I got this amazing idea which was pivoted around anger towards the education system. And I have made a long summary about the whole concept. Writing down all the gibberish & hazy thoughts inside my head. Expecting that I will come back to it someday & structure it into a presentable format.

I read a blog piece, having one such point –  7 dark secrets of Entrepreneurs. (point 5)

And then again I found myself getting into wishful thoughts of being an entrepreneur. I say wishful, because, at present my focus lie on the UPSC exam(or does it?). It may be a prospective future for me(next year).
Though, that doesn’t concerns this post. The point I want to make is that – however, creative or fruitful or useless these illuminations be – I still feel stuck inside the Dark Alley. It seems the Dark Alley is turning into the Dark Valley. And I hope it’s not the Cul-de-sac which Seth Godin talks about. I hope it is only a dip.

I would like my mental energy to free up & rejuvenate. Then only can I taste the flavors of my journey in an open sea. 

Arigato 🙂

{ This time I found myself rowing in the misty waters, while a lighthouse in full fire. The dilemma is that If I row to the lighthouse & reach the shore, crossing the dangerous rocks. I will not be able to make my way into the open sea. I wonder can I still stay afloat in case my boat wrecks to the lighthouse. }

P.S – i love talking in metaphors & making allegories. 😀

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2 thoughts on “Dark (V)Alley

    1. Right, you know as I have interest in ancient scientific practices – I also keep track of astrology system. Sometimes it is uncanny, sometimes it misses by a mile. 😛
      Thanks though.

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